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hubilance (n): the quiet poignance of your own responsibility for someone, with a mix of pride and fear and love and humility – feeling a baby fall asleep on your chest, or driving at night surrounded by loved ones fast asleep, who trust you implicitly with their lives – a responsibility that wasn’t talked about or assigned to you, it was assumed to be yours without question. 

I’m so beyond grateful for this life that God decided that I was suited for. Whenever I think about the friends that I’ve been blessed to have, that love and care for me, my heart swells. I feel warm with the amount of love I have for them and I immediately want to tell them how loved and cared for that they are. The absolute beauty I get to see and experience through that just makes me want to weep, more often than not, I do.

God has entrusted me with the hearts of His children, those that He loves and cherishes. And I know that I will fail them horribly and that terrifies me, but God also knows and He allowed me into their live regardless because I have something from Him that needs to be given away, not hoarded. 

I get to see the beauty of divine creation in their animated expressions, laughter, crying, and even annoyance and anger. And what a thing to behold, knowing that they were created by God, that I get a glimpse of His heart through them. Just, wow. There aren’t enough words to describe what I feel.

Thanks God. 

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